In this blog, I will look at my first Conceptual Exploration: First Diemester. The terribly titled short film is outlined, the scenes and key emotions listed and the personal inspiration inherent to it are explored.
Logline
A heist movie but instead of stealing something the main characters try and induce a miscarriage.
https://bomyburgh2again.blogspot.com/2019/08/full-term.html
https://bomyburgh2again.blogspot.com/2019/09/first-diemester.html
Logline
A heist movie but instead of stealing something the main characters try and induce a miscarriage.
Origins
As I explained in Amendment I, this idea was purely conceptual, I developed it back when I first came up with it (after telling a couple of people and getting positive feedback I felt like it was an idea worth exploring even if I was at first shaky on its potential), my initial development can be seen on these blogs from last year:
https://bomyburgh2again.blogspot.com/2019/09/first-diemester.html
Since then the idea has seen a lot of change, I feel like it is much closer to being a personal film now, with me injecting more realistic motivations into the characters and transforming the relationship in the center of the movie into something that I think is much more relatable.
Development
I realized that while the story is intended to be a comedy of sorts I needed a basis in the real world, I took inspiration from my own relationship as well as those of people close to me and decided that the relationship between the two main characters should be rocky because of them wanting different things in their lives at that point.
They have been together for a while, but the guy wants to break-up as he's still studying and wants time to figure out what he wants to do, while she had finished and is working a pretty good job, she wants to settle down. This scares him and he feels like he isn't enough, especially not for such a big commitment, she does something horrible when she sabotages their reproductive control systems and deliberately gets pregnant. He is about to break up with her, but she tells him this and he feels obligated to stay because of his own childhood and an absentee father.
The tone of the movie was intended to be light, juxtaposing with the horrific actions of the characters, but this is quite heavy drama and I think I need to find a way to weave it naturally into the story.
The horrifying actions on the side of the male protagonist is his plan to abort the baby without her knowing.
The story doesn't have a very satisfactory ending, with neither character really changing all that much, I think it needs to lead to a big bloodbath - it's more a horror story of a relationship falling apart because of the difference in desires for the two parties involved.
I still wonder if I shouldn't make both characters a bit cartoonishly bad so that it's more satisfying when they pay for their mistakes if I go this realistic route I need to make the film in quite a grounded manner as well.
_____________________
Hol' Up We Makin' Some Changes
We're takin it back to where it began, this needs to be a bit more comical and have an emphasis on the comedy.
I was really struggling with this one and brought it to Matthew Butler, he helped me get it back to what it was originally supposed to be and we've come up with a much clearer story, with an obvious villain, as well as more concrete methods that the boys take to further their (possibly) evil goal of induced miscarriage.
The things I outlined above can still have a bearing on the characters, and still be there, but will take a bit more of a backseat, the tone for this story has to be right because a straight drama is not something that will appeal to a very large audience. The movie's logline is funny, and has a certain specificity to it that we don't want to lose in the making of it.
______________________
One Scene
Matthew also told me that he wished he just made one really good scene during his time at SIT instead of trying to make these complete stories, this is more manageable and allows us to put out something truly great with just one scene as every aspect can be scrutinized over.
This leads back to my question about making the story entertaining and works with what I've done so far with focusing on the key emotions in scenes - I might change my question to:
"How can I utilize the key emotions present in a scene to make it effective and engaging to the audience?"
This means focusing on what we want the audience to feel in every moment and making sure that every scene is engaging from start to finish.
______________________
The movie begins at a party of sorts where he is unable to go out with the boys and they wait for him to break up with his girl, which is something he has wanted to do for quite a while - they about to go to the clubs, his GF doesn't want him to and he finally decides to do what he's wanted for ages now - break up.
He is supported by his friends' group, one in particular who can't fucking stand her.
He goes inside to talk to her, she also has something to tell him and reveals that she is pregnant, panicking he asks her to marry him instead.
Next day:
At work, his friend can't believe this and grills him as to why. He has an appointment with doctor after because of the baby - a check-up.
He is entering into a situation that he doesn't want but he feels trapped by societal pressures and is taking responsibility for his own mistake.
She flirts with the doctor and makes a comparison between him and the doctor about not being successful enough, he feels like shit and asks some questions about miscarriage which embarrasses her and even the doctor shows concern.
When they are home she scolds him for embarrassing her and he tries and makes it up to her - feeling guilty and as if he needs to take responsibility for this as well - she uses this against him to get him to drive her friend to the shops while she cools off and takes a warm bubble bath.
During the drive, the friends let slip that she boycotted the condoms (of course she doesn't use the pill because she's selfish) and he is very angry, she wants him not to tell the GF and he says he won't.
He is devastated and goes home that night, he hates her, as she takes all the blanket.
He drinks with his friend after work and tells him about all this shit, they both come to the conclusion that he should also have a say over whether or not the baby is born and hatch the plan to induce a miscarriage.
They research this and find the herbal method, shop for it and start poisoning her with this. During this she's a bit more of a bitch, but also gets some sympathy points and he almost feels bad. But then she starts being a real bitch once she finds some of the herbs and shit.
___________-If this was a longer movie there would be another plan hatching here, plan B - make the bitch run.____________
She starts making her own food and he realizes they are now in a mental battle of sorts, she tortures him a bit and he tells his friend they have to go to Plan Z: Scramble.
They have to get her unconscious and then go inside with a long utensil and scramble up the embryo.
I realized that while the story is intended to be a comedy of sorts I needed a basis in the real world, I took inspiration from my own relationship as well as those of people close to me and decided that the relationship between the two main characters should be rocky because of them wanting different things in their lives at that point.
They have been together for a while, but the guy wants to break-up as he's still studying and wants time to figure out what he wants to do, while she had finished and is working a pretty good job, she wants to settle down. This scares him and he feels like he isn't enough, especially not for such a big commitment, she does something horrible when she sabotages their reproductive control systems and deliberately gets pregnant. He is about to break up with her, but she tells him this and he feels obligated to stay because of his own childhood and an absentee father.
The tone of the movie was intended to be light, juxtaposing with the horrific actions of the characters, but this is quite heavy drama and I think I need to find a way to weave it naturally into the story.
The horrifying actions on the side of the male protagonist is his plan to abort the baby without her knowing.
The story doesn't have a very satisfactory ending, with neither character really changing all that much, I think it needs to lead to a big bloodbath - it's more a horror story of a relationship falling apart because of the difference in desires for the two parties involved.
I still wonder if I shouldn't make both characters a bit cartoonishly bad so that it's more satisfying when they pay for their mistakes if I go this realistic route I need to make the film in quite a grounded manner as well.
_____________________
Hol' Up We Makin' Some Changes
We're takin it back to where it began, this needs to be a bit more comical and have an emphasis on the comedy.
I was really struggling with this one and brought it to Matthew Butler, he helped me get it back to what it was originally supposed to be and we've come up with a much clearer story, with an obvious villain, as well as more concrete methods that the boys take to further their (possibly) evil goal of induced miscarriage.
The things I outlined above can still have a bearing on the characters, and still be there, but will take a bit more of a backseat, the tone for this story has to be right because a straight drama is not something that will appeal to a very large audience. The movie's logline is funny, and has a certain specificity to it that we don't want to lose in the making of it.
______________________
One Scene
Matthew also told me that he wished he just made one really good scene during his time at SIT instead of trying to make these complete stories, this is more manageable and allows us to put out something truly great with just one scene as every aspect can be scrutinized over.
This leads back to my question about making the story entertaining and works with what I've done so far with focusing on the key emotions in scenes - I might change my question to:
"How can I utilize the key emotions present in a scene to make it effective and engaging to the audience?"
This means focusing on what we want the audience to feel in every moment and making sure that every scene is engaging from start to finish.
______________________
The movie begins at a party of sorts where he is unable to go out with the boys and they wait for him to break up with his girl, which is something he has wanted to do for quite a while - they about to go to the clubs, his GF doesn't want him to and he finally decides to do what he's wanted for ages now - break up.
He is supported by his friends' group, one in particular who can't fucking stand her.
He goes inside to talk to her, she also has something to tell him and reveals that she is pregnant, panicking he asks her to marry him instead.
Next day:
At work, his friend can't believe this and grills him as to why. He has an appointment with doctor after because of the baby - a check-up.
He is entering into a situation that he doesn't want but he feels trapped by societal pressures and is taking responsibility for his own mistake.
She flirts with the doctor and makes a comparison between him and the doctor about not being successful enough, he feels like shit and asks some questions about miscarriage which embarrasses her and even the doctor shows concern.
When they are home she scolds him for embarrassing her and he tries and makes it up to her - feeling guilty and as if he needs to take responsibility for this as well - she uses this against him to get him to drive her friend to the shops while she cools off and takes a warm bubble bath.
During the drive, the friends let slip that she boycotted the condoms (of course she doesn't use the pill because she's selfish) and he is very angry, she wants him not to tell the GF and he says he won't.
He is devastated and goes home that night, he hates her, as she takes all the blanket.
He drinks with his friend after work and tells him about all this shit, they both come to the conclusion that he should also have a say over whether or not the baby is born and hatch the plan to induce a miscarriage.
They research this and find the herbal method, shop for it and start poisoning her with this. During this she's a bit more of a bitch, but also gets some sympathy points and he almost feels bad. But then she starts being a real bitch once she finds some of the herbs and shit.
___________-If this was a longer movie there would be another plan hatching here, plan B - make the bitch run.____________
She starts making her own food and he realizes they are now in a mental battle of sorts, she tortures him a bit and he tells his friend they have to go to Plan Z: Scramble.
They have to get her unconscious and then go inside with a long utensil and scramble up the embryo.
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